#007 - Perspectives on Kindness

Jos and I were heading back to our car the other day when we were approached by a distressed elderly lady. She had placed her handbag in a black Woolworth’s bag and left it beside her car, driven off only to find that on her return 10 min later the bag was gone.

Together the three of us scoured the car park looking for the missing bag. Strangely enough where she was parked there was a car with a black Woolworth’s bag in the back. This may or may not have been her bag but I wrote a note and left it on the windscreen leaving a short message and the elderly lady's name and number.

Although we had not succeeded in returning her handbag to her she thanked us effusively for our ‘act of kindness’.  Her choice of words stopped me short and I chuckled as I explained how my sister and I were starting a charity that would conduct Acts of Random kindness. Her response to this was rather unexpected … “Oh no, there is no need to give me money. I have enough money I just didn't want to cancel all my cards”.

We chatted for a little longer but I was unable to convey to the elderly lady how our Acts of Random Kindness aim to make everyday people happy with lots of different things. She kept returning to kind acts of gifted money.  As we drove away I realised that kindness can mean so many different things to so many people. 

It occurred to me - A kind act is only a kindness, if the recipient is receptive to the action.   

#006 Hugs = Happiness

If happiness was a commodity I'm positive it would be a hug. As far as hugs go they can be light and airy, or thoroughly engulfing. Whatever their form, if given and received freely they are guaranteed to impart a little bit of happiness.

This was really brought to my attention the other day while cycling home. I passed a young man in Canberra along city walk holding up a board with "Free Hugs" written on it. I cycled past and smiled thinking of the smile on his face and his message. After another 100 m I stopped, turned around and rode back.

As I got closer I had a good look at the young man. He had a big smile on his young handsome face, and he looked very fit, happy and healthy. When I reached out and hugged him I asked "Why are you giving away free hugs?" and his answer was simple:

"Because it feels good to give and  receive" Nothing more, nothing less, and it was true, I did feel good. So thank you random person for my free hug, and my little piece of random happiness.

#005 Can I Hold That For You?

The simple act of helping someone do something which should be easy but their circumstances make it more difficult is the easiest way to act kindly. Shopping at Ikea can be an arduous task on your own, the first two times I went I couldn't work out how to get out of the place. Now I have two small children, Bibi who is almost three and Jack merely eleven weeks old, who make a simple shopping trip even more difficult.

So we were at Ikea, in the foyer downstairs, waiting for Nanna to arrive. Bibi was having a ball running in and out and around the princess and the pea style bed and fabric display when suddenly she announced, "I need to go toilet!". Now I know going to the toilet is something most of us take for granted as being an easy task to accomplish. However with a baby strapped in front and an almost three year old the logistics get a little more difficult.

First begins the frantic looking around for the toilet signs and then the rushed navigation to them. Normally in this situation I would have picked her up and hurried there, as you never quite know how long they can hold on. But with little Jack strapped on this wasn't possible so we held hands and quickly got to the loo.

Next, of course, there is a line up. Two lovely ladies, one who is pregnant with eight weeks to go and the other with a two year old. Bibi seemed to be retaining her composure so we stood in line and waited our turn. Luckily only the lady with the toddler needed to go and we chatted to her sister while we waited. When it was our turn, they asked if I needed to go too and if they could help by holding the baby. I thanked them for the offer but could manage by myself.

Now I know, the thought of baby stealing did cross my mind too, but I'm sure they had no such intentions. They were simply offering to help a mother with her hands full. It was a kind gesture and even though I didn't take them up on it, it still made me feel good to know that someone cared. How often do you see mothers trying to man handle more than they should with their limited resources of only two hands? Although most would never ask for it, a helping hand is often appreciated.

#004 Sneaky pokery daughters and dads

I have always had a soft spot for doing random unexpected things, and find it quite enjoyable to add unpredictable happiness to peoples lives. Sometimes it is the small things like mopping the floor or washing someone's dishes.... but I can't resist a good gob-smacking surprise!

Many years ago my sisters and I left home to pursue the adventures of our lives. While my parents were happy for us, they also missed us with their 3 daughters scattered across Australia like leaves in the wind.  When I decided to arrange a surprise visit from Townsville, it required some sneaky pokery to cross all the t's and dot all the i's of my plan. This is where my dad came in, a man who loves a good belly laugh and luckily for me, a co-conspirator at heart.

How it unfolded...
Step 1- Making time: For the week before my arrival, mum was taking bookings for her salon as usual, completely unaware of my plans. In the background dad was rearranging bookings and calling people to put on fake voices to make fake bookings. Would you believe the number of people wanting really long appointments (like wedding hair rehearsals) that weekend! It would be enough to make a gal suspicious you'd think, but no, so far so good.

Step 2- False pretences: Living 3 hours away from their nearest daughter (and coincidentally the Brisbane airport) is quite convenient if another daughter wants to sneak into town. So under the pretence of a nice dinner with my sister, mum and dad drove to Brisbane.

Step 3-Late flights: Now no one can predict flight delays, but I was on a tight deadline and ever so nervous about how many times we circled the landing strip. As I watched the city rotating slowly below me I knew the dinner would be getting close to over and my mum, still unaware, would likely be making moves to leave. When we hit the tarmac I flew through luggage collection and hot footed it to the restaurant. Quick, quick quick!!

Step 4-Just in time: As I approached the table I could hear my mum "but we never have dessert and coffee! ....should be going... long drive ahead ..." I crept up behind and gave her a mighty bear hug. With so much shock and surprise tears started rolling down mums face. Dad, Bronte and I were laughing and all mum could say between sobs was "What are you doing here?"

Image by Natsky Photography.

Step 5-One last surprise: Dad and I had arranged one final surprise. Tickets to the theatre. Not just any old theatre show, but 'Phantom of the Opera'. This was a musical my family had on CD and had listened to over and over and over. It had enormous sentimental value and mum was beside herself when we announced we were staying in Brisbane going to see 'the phantom'! tears continued to stream as we revealed the secretly sabotaged salon bookings, the hidden theatre clothes in the boot of the car and all the humps and bumps of the last week to make the surprise possible.

Even now, writing about it I can't help but smile remembering how happy it made my mum to have such a momentous joint effort from her husband and her daughters, all aimed at making her happy. It was magical. The whole weekend, a perfect act of kindness.

#003 Blind happiness

My title may be a little deceptive. I am in a way writing about blind joy, but also referring to helping the blind. Let me explain...

While riding my bike to work I cycle through the city of Canberra. It is a wonderful morning routine that generally leaves me feeling pretty good in both my body and mind. I leave my husbands work where we park our car and cycle through the university. I generally pass groups of girls gossiping over late night escapades, young couples walking hand in hand; and the mature age students follow their life long dream.

My cycling also takes me on an aromatic journey. My nose identifies as I pass flowering side walks, coffee houses, garbage bins, and freshly baked goodies. But most of all, my cycling takes me through a lot of traffic lights. On a good run I can almost make it clear across town without stopping, but today I stopped. Not because of a traffic light, but to help a young blind girl cross the street.

Now most people would think that helping the blind girl was the act of kindness, and it was a kind act, but I think that the bigger act of kindness was to myself. When I stopped and helped, it left me with an enhanced feeling of happiness. I even enjoyed it when a bus driver slowed his bus and yelled out to me "Thaaaaaank yoooooou!!!!" as his bus rattled past. Clearly it made him happy too :)

It was such a quick and simple act yet it left me with blind joy that lasted well into the day. I guess it is like my husband said to me later ...being altruistic is ultimately hedonistic.